10 THINGS THAT AGGRAVATE YOU  IN CHURCH …….

1. People who over use the tambourine.  If you know you have a problem keeping up with the beat, please do the church a favor, and pass the tambourine to someone else!     You are truly aggravating so KNOCK IT OFF!   Be still and just  sing.
2. People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt His “touch”  and was moved to run around the church, doesn’t mean you need to.  If you require several rounds of oxygen and some gator-aide after your ‘performance’ chances are you didn’t get touched after all.  SIT DOWN.
3. People who constantly holler something to the pastor all during  the  message.    We don’t need you commenting after every sentence pastor says, everybody knows you know the bible.  Stop showing off!  The preacher is ‘preaching’  directly to you anyway, but maybe if you be quiet, the whole church wouldn’t know he’s talking toyou.  SHUT UP so  everybody else can hear what the pastor has to say to you.
4. People who constantly go to the bathroom.  Nobody uses  the bathroom four times during service and if you  actually need to, I suggest wearing Depends, or sitting at the end of the aisle.  People are tired of you knocking off their hats and wigs as you go by.
5. People who can’t or won’t control their kids.  Okay, this is a tough one….If you know Lil’ Ron Ron ’bout to tear up children’s church, don’t subject that poor innocent teacher to your demon-child.  Sit Lil’ Ron Ron next to you, open your purse and show him your ‘gun’….then whisper in his ear and tell him he’s going to see God before his time if he doesn’t keep some ‘act right’.  Then pray and ask God’s forgiveness.  How in the world can we concentrate on hearing the Word, when your child is running up and down the aisle .  The Bible says, “spare the rod, spoil the child,”  You need to HANDLE UP!!
6.  People who take ‘Come AS YOU ARE’ to a whole new level. I can understand if you going through something. But if you got a fresh pair of Jordan ‘s on and a T-shirt, then you can certainly invest in some dress clothes and take your earrings and nose rings out. Since when is it OK for men to wear hats in the church and wear their pants to their ankles?  GET IT TOGETHER!
7. People who bring food to church. If you brought your baby a little snack, but you’reeating all his cookies and crackers ..  dropping crumbs everywhere that’s a problem. Take those Cheezits, Oreos and little Rae-kwon outside. This is GOD’S HOUSE, NOT YOURS!!!
8.  People who come to special church functions and criticize. If you’re standing in a corner gossiping about how you could’ve done a better job at something and you haven’t volunteered to help with anything and haven’t showed up to any invitations to join a ministry, I’m going to have to ask you to SHUT-UP!
9. People who obviously show they don’t like you. If you don’t care for a person for whatever reason, at least put up a decent front and ACT like you have some Christian love!  When you come to church, you should look past people’s shortcomings. Don’t cut somebody up with your evil faces and smart remarks.   Those same faults you see in others, may be found in you!  CUT IT OUT!
10. Finally, parents who dress better than their kids… If you come in looking like an Ebony Fashion model and little Sha-nay-nay is behind you looking like a poster child for ‘Feed the Children,’ you are DEAD WRONG!  Give your child a “Just For Me”, and dress her to look as good or better than you.  Don’t come out looking like a MILLION BUCKS while your child looks ‘homeless’.